With President Obama visiting our beloved state last month, and the good ol’ Confederate greeting we gave him, these power rankings could have been far more embarrassing. Still, enough national embarrassments were signed, sealed, and delivered by our elected officials to make for a strong collection of assholes.
Tonight also marks the premiere television event of the summer: the Fox News Republican Presidential Primary Debate. You’ll almost certainly hear some of these same things repeated at the podium tonight, so whet your crazy-person palette with these five batshit Oklahoma politicians.
5. Jim Inhofe (R)
Inhofe is perhaps best known for his impressively ignorant denial of climate change, but he’s actually a more well-rounded asshole than you’d think. Most recently, the U.S. Senator from Tulsa — who has gay friends, you know — reached deep into his bottomless bag of tough questions.
Via Politico:
Sen. Jim Inhofe, a senior member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, opposes the plan announced [last month] by the Pentagon to allow transgender troops to serve in the military, saying “it wouldn’t work.”
Asked to explain his opposition, the socially conservative Oklahoma Republican told Politico: “I had a 10-year-old — not my son, but a friend of mine’s grandson — say, ‘All right, which bathroom would they use?’”
Deep, deep thoughts from our senior senator. Thank god we have him to ask the questions nobody else is dumb enough to ask.
4. James Lankford (R-OK)
After publishing our inaugural Worst Oklahoma Politicians power rankings last month, a Facebook commenter theorized that sometime in the next year, James Lankford could occupy all five of this list’s spots at once. He’s not quite there yet, but he hasn’t even been in office for a year. Give him some time.
Like almost everyone in his party, Lankford had some really dumb things to say about Planned Parenthood after a highly edited video purported that the women’s health organization is selling the body parts of aborted fetuses (when, in fact, they are not ). Naturally, Lankford was the one who sponsored and introduced that Defund Planned Parenthood bill that recently died on the Senate floor. Welcome to Washington, James.
(Just a friendly reminder that abortions constitute just 3 percent of Planned Parenthood’s health services, and that this bill would have primarily defunded STD testing, cancer screenings, contraception, and other essential health services that have absolutely nothing to do with a woman’s totally legal right to terminate a pregnancy.)
3. Oklahoma Federation of Republican Women (R-Hell)
A lot of people post dumb shit on Facebook — usually your crazy aunt or some dude you barely remember from high school. But professional organizations are just as capable, as evidenced by the Oklahoma Federation of Republican Women’s not-even-gonna-try-to-hide-it lynching reference, complete with a black man hanging from a tree, that implied that Democrats are the racist ones because the political landscape obviously hasn’t changed at all in the last century and a half:
Via KFOR:
When NewsChannel 4 contacted the state president of the Oklahoma Federation of Republican Women Pam Pollard, she told us on the phone she hadn’t seen the post.
She read the post while she was still on the phone with us, and it was deleted before the end of the conversation.
She also said the person normally responsible for making posts to their Facebook page is quote “usually really good about it.” And that she planned to issue an apology on Facebook.
The worst part? This “usually really good about it” social media manager/”untainted history” buff still has a job.
2. Randy Brogdon (R-Somewhere hotter than Hell)
Speaking of social media meltdowns, you’re probably already familiar with Randy Brogdon. The State Chairman of the Republican Party of Oklahoma made national headlines after recycling this old, unfunny anecdote that likened poor people to wild animals:
Adding fuel to this inextinguishable grease fire, Brogdon issued a non-apology claiming that we simply “misinterpreted” his highly complex and thought-provoking parallel.
“This post was supposed to be an analogy that compared two situations illustrating the cycle of government dependency in America, not humans as animals,” Brogdon said.
Thanks for clearing that up, dick.
1. Mary Fallin (R-OK)
Boy howdy, what a month our beloved governor had. There was that whole Trailergate thing, the Ten Commandments thing, the branches of government thing, and the earthquake thing. But perhaps her most egregious offense was paying Hanson more than $17 thousand to sing “MMMBop” at her inauguration last January, an expense divulged in a July 10 report.
The entire event cost over $1 million, and was thankfully paid for by private donations and ticket sales, rather than Oklahoma tax dollars.
Still, though. Hanson. Our governor is the worst.
