Ah, fireworks. They’re as synonymous with Independence Day as Will Smith exclaiming “I have got to get me one of these!” They’re about as interesting, too.
That’s right. Fireworks are overrated. You know why? They’re all the exact damn same. This will be my 30th Fourth of July, which means it’ll be the 30th time I’ve sat down on some grass and looked up to the sky for 15 minutes waiting for something cool to happen. Firework technology literally hasn’t changed for two and a half centuries. It doesn’t matter how many bottles of Sam Adams I’ve knocked back, or how loud you blast “America the Beautiful”; I just can’t get into ’em. Oh, and that “grand finale” bullshit? It’s basically just 20 of the same damn fireworks going off at the same time. Amazing!
Look, I love the US of A (most of the time), and aside from that whole slavery thing, our founding fathers were pretty legit. But I honestly can’t think of a lamer way to celebrate our independence than with some stupid ass fireworks. Call me when we bust out some Lord of the Rings shit.
Anyway, what do you think? Are fireworks overrated or what?
