Props to the good folks over at The Oklahoma Daily, who broke mega-news today when they leaked the details of Jack White’s contract, and subsequently, how ridiculously particular the terms are.
(The deal, which brings White to Norman this Monday, is between the White camp and the University of Oklahoma, which is a state institution and thus subject to open records requests. That’s how the Daily attained the contract. Hooray, journalism!)
It’s well known that White doesn’t allow flash photography at his performances, and that he’s not exactly a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. But this contract … holy guacamole.
The 22-page agreement goes into great detail about everything from wardrobe arrangements to there not being any bananas allowed in the building. Seriously. Not a single one. But what about banana pudding, you ask? That’s a damn good question, and we’re not really sure, but it’d be better to err on the side of caution and leave your banana pudding at home.
The juiciest parts, though, are the dressing room arrangements. From the Daily:
Hospitality for the performance must be set up and ready to go prior to the tour group’s arrival, with the exception of alcohol and deli/cheese platters. Those can wait. It’s a different story for the 36 bottles of spring water, four bottles of fresh juice smoothies, 1 pound of “freshly sliced, high-quality prosciutto and aged salami with a sharp knife,” though—all for White’s dressing room.
Man, being a rock star sounds awesome. Forget about the money, the drugs, the groupie-sex — give me that freshly sliced prosciutto.
And lest we forget the guacamole, an element so crucial to the success of the concert that the contract includes an impressively detailed recipe:
• 8 x large, ripe Haas avocados (cut in half the long way, remove the pit—SAVE THE PIT THOUGH–, and dice into large cubes with a butter knife. 3 or 4 slits down, 3 or 4 across. You’ll scoop out the chunks with a spoon, careful to main the avocado in fairly large chunks.)
• 4 x vine-ripened tomatoes (diced)
• ½ x yellow onion (finely chopped)
• 1 x full bunch cilantro (chopped)
• 4 x Serrano peppers (de-veined and chopped)
• 1 x lime
• Salt & pepper to taste
• Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky. Once properly mixed and tested, add the pits into the guacamole and even out the top with a spoon or spatula. Add ½ lime to the top later so you cover move of the surface with the juice (The pits and lime will keep it from browning prematurely.) Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until served. Please don’t make it too early before it’s served. We’d love to have it around 5 pm.
I wonder what would happen if, say, they accidentally threw away the pits. Does that void the contract? No pressure, Campus Activities Council!
If you’d like to read all 22 pages, you can do so here.
